So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
