id be glad to
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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