i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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