I hate all girls vehemently.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
