I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize