My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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