I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
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He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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