do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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