i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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