I'm sorry my penis didn't work
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
