Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize