Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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