Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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