You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize