how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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