he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
