well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
