people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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