and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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