Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
