porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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