When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
