I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
