Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
try to milk me bitch
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize