Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My vagina is officially offended.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
