k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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