We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize