If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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