i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize