It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
