Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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