How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
