Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
