Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
