I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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