You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You are a genius and a whore.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
