i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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