Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
