Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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