remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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