Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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