Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
