I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
be right there i have to get my cape
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
