Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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