And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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