This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
