he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
