she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
