you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize