Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
