I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize