1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
