is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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