Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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