wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
