Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Sext me about skeletons
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
