kristin has been a bad kristin
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
