Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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