So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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