he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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